Lesson 12 - graduation

the 'used sissy' story Miss Blue's final lesson was so hot! i started reading in the afternoon when i didn't have my chastity on, and had to stop after the first paragraph! i haven't cum in a very long time because i haven't been given permission and was afraid that there might be an 'accident'. so this evening i finished it while wearing a chastity and omg! i know i did the right thing. that is the kind of story that a sissy's dreams are made of (sigh...)

but anyway..., Miss Blue wants to know 3 things that i learned or liked about this training.
1.  one thing that i always like about Miss Blue's training is that i just never know what is coming next, one night i might be worshiping boots, another night practicing to walk like a whore, and another night rolling dice to see what fate holds for me.

2. some of the lessons made me think seriously about what motivates me to be a sissy and a slave. of course it is very difficult, perhaps impossible, to actually know something like this, but thinking about it helps me to understand myself, and hopefully become a better slave and toy for a dominant woman.

3. like Mistress Akasha, Miss Blue understands what motivates my submissive personality and what i really need far better than i do myself. i am often amazed at how easy it is for a skilled dominant woman to make me want to and even beg to be allowed to do whatever it is she desires. i just love to feel this happen to me and admire their skill.

i'm attaching one final photo that reflects what i was thinking about while reading Miss Blue's story. i couldn't manage to suspend myself in the air while wearing an ass-less panty and nipple-less bra, but hope this will do!

thanks for a fun and instructive training program Miss Blue!

jamiegirl

Lesson 11 - Sensory deprivation

this lesson had an interesting concept, Miss Blue decided to have her sluts attempt to experience sensory deprivation. i've read and seen i few things about this in the past, usually the submissive's body is encased in rubber or some other material to deprive him of the ability to feel anything, his head is within a leather hood which blocks sight and hearing, and sometimes the slut is suspended or otherwise isolated to complete near total blockage of physical senses. it does sound interesting, and as long as it was for a limited time, i thought it would be an interesting experiment.

unfortunately, i must report that the experiment didn't really work for me. i tried to isolate myself as best i could, but i didn't get much response other than i got tired and nearly fell asleep. perhaps i was expecting too much or maybe the isolation just wasn't good enough. i also suspect that since i knew i was in control of the length of my isolation, that prevented the type of response that might occur in a person who was isolated and had no idea when or if he would ever escape his predicament. that could elevate the emotional response hugely. nevertheless an interesting experiment. and restful!

Lesson 9 - Miss Blue turns up the heat

Miss Blue's lesson was white hot. i'm sure she knows that she has her sluts over a barrel - figuratively and almost literally! i am so hot from the lessons so far that i don't have any choice but to read every word in each new one, and the words just drive me deeper into her dominant control. i'm sure she knows how sexy that low rider strap on cock that she loves looks - honestly just the sight of it in the stockroom ad makes me want to fall to my knees. and when she describes how she would stuff her used panties into my mouth before taking my pussy for her pleasure, well... omg i'm gone. i think all i could do would be to whimper while she took the days frustrations on me using the low rider strapon.

Too Hot! but anyway, Miss Blue asked for a list of 5 things that she should know about me. i selected 5 things that sort of describe my desires and sexual inclinations, and i am hoping that is what Miss Blue intended.

- i am a submissive sissy

- Mistress Akasha used her dominant feminine skills to turn me into a girl during some extended training with her. She is now my Mistress and i am her sissy slave forever.

- i love to crossdress into women's clothing and wear lingerie at all times, and full women's clothing including makeup, whenever i can. Mistress Akasha has been helping me learn about applying makeup, and bought me the most wonderful coach purse for my trips out in public!!! (which are still as frightening for me as they are exciting)

- now that i am a girl i cum only like a girl, using my mouth, titties, clittie and pussy. i sometimes use a vibrator or dildo as required to help me along. occasionally i sniff Mistress Akasha's well used panties, and that makes me cum very quickly. but i only cum into my panties, and only with the permission of Mistress Akasha. if She has not given me permission, i do not cum, at least not intentionally. when necessary i use a chastity device to assure this, which is every evening and during the night lately.

- i have accepted that i must be willing to accept discipline, training and bondage according to the desires of my Mistress. it is no longer my decision to make.

Lesson 8 - Third night

For this evening's lesson I rolled a "10". According to Miss Blue's instructions this meant that I had to put on a pair of high heel and strut my slutty ass for 30 minutes. Well, finally getting to something I am really good at!

I must confess that I love high heels and have way more pairs than I should have. I mean after all I am a slut, not a fashion model. But I can't convince my inner girl about that so i keep on buying the gorgeous things. In fact I think the only thing better that wearing the heels would be kissing Miss Blue's feet while she was wearing her heels - and does she have some gorgeous pairs! omg! Perhaps that's why I'm trying so hard to fight my way to her feet!

Anyway, my latest pair of heels are booties, but they only have 2 inch heels so I decided to wear my 2nd newest pair - these absolutely drop dead sexy red 3-1/2 inch heels with an open toe. Are they too much or what??? So anyway I actually looked forward to strutting my ass while wearing these, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I wish I could wear heels to work every day. Thanks Miss Blue!

Lesson 8 - Second night

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Lesson 8 - First night

Miss Blue decided to leave the fate of the sluts to chance, the roll of the dice. Seems a little strange at first, but after all a sissy submissive needs to be able to to react to any one of a number of situations that his Mistress might throw at him over the course of time. So ok, it seems like a good test and i'll give it my best shot.

I didn't have any dice in the house (that i could find anyway) so I found this internet simulation http://www.random.org/dice/  Works pretty good actually. At least I get a different result each time I click it so it must be sort of random anyway.

On my first trial I rolled a "7" and learned that I would have to take a cock in my pussy for 15 minutes. Miss Blue didn't say whether I needed to get fucked by the cock, but I assume she intended that or she probably would have specified a "plug" rather than a "cock". Details, details.

As luck would have it I was feeling rather horny in the evening anyway, Miss Blue's training and the enforced chastity is clearly having its effects on me. In fact, in order to insure that I don't mess up, I have begun wearing a chastity in the evenings and during the night. That assures that I won't start casually start playing with her property and have an accident.

After putting together the things i needed, a cock, condom and some lube, I pulled down my panties and lubed my pussy and stretched it a bit using 2 fingers. After slipping a condom on the cock and lubing it up I was already getting stiff in the chastity cage. I decided that the most appropriate position for me to be fucked was laying on my back with my legs in the air - grasping for my imaginary lover. So I lay down and raised my legs, resting my calves on a desk top. Then i started pressing the cock against my pussy and I could feel a drop of precum forming.  The cock slid right into my pussy with only a little resistance, and I think that is a reflection on how badly i needed it. So I completed the lesson, changing positions once to a "doggie" position.

All and all it was a very exciting lesson, and I didn't sleep well last night because I was stiff in the chastity cage half the night from the stimulation. I knew the cage was a good idea...

Lesson 7 - What makes me tick

Miss Blue just wrote the hottest lesson! it was about how she is able to control me in any way she likes, and of course i am anxious to serve her in any way she likes. even if it is degrading, like her peeing on me while i masturbate or even peeing directly into my mouth so i can be totally intimate with her. goddess it is so exciting to think about that, i just can't even describe the feeling - but it is intense and it drives me into subspace. and when she knows she has total control and i am hers, she uses my face and tongue like a vibrator to achieve orgasm after orgasm. and while my tongue is stretched to its limits, my clittie is restricted to its tiny cage to keep me attentive. this lesson really had my attention. it took me a long time to recover after reading it.
but the point of this lesson was that Miss Blue wants me to tell her what makes me tick (even though i think she already knows) - what makes me submissive and willing to do anything to please her and give her pleasure. i don't think she is asking me to analyze how i became a sissy in the first place (who can tell anyway), but rather what turns me on, keeps me submissive, and drives me into subspace. that is what i am going to assume she meant anyway, since i can't answer the "why" question anyway.

i need a strong dominant woman to control me domestically and sexually. i need her to determine when i am allowed to cum, and when i am not. don't ask me how this happened, i've always been independent and even a loner to some extent. this has worked for me and lead me to some successes.  but now i crave being controlled in an intimate femdom relationship. at times i need to be used. forcefully, even ruthlessly. Mistress Akasha has been introducing me to bondage and strap on sex as a way to demonstrate her power and my need for her to control me. it is exciting. it makes me feel weak.

i am addicted to pussy and have been as long as i can remember. since my cock is too small to really please a woman and is generally locked in chastity anyway, my passion is to use my tongue and face to please her. Mistress will occasionally give me a pair of her soiled panties when i have pleased her. it is a powerful reminder of who contols me, and i cum quickly when i am allowed to sniff their scent when i am not wearing a chastity.

i am a sissy and a crossdresser. i love women's lingerie and i have worn it exclusively for years, even while i appear to be male to those around me. i own no male underwear at all and wear panties and a bra at all times - even to the gym. recently, and thanks to Mistress Akasha, i have developed an interest in makeup, and in controlled circumstances dressing completely as a woman. i have visited  a mall while dressed, and it is a strong erotic turn on.

i hope this blog entry hasn't been terribly boring, though i suspect it has. i've learned that it is much more satisfying to allow a Mistress you trust to guide me through these things and show me what i need, than try to understand it all.  

Lesson 6 - The Walk of Shame

Miss Blue was very upset when writing this lesson because some of the sluts were evidently unable to obey her and control there need to play with her property. its sad but unfortunately it seems to happen a time or two in each training, and i'm sure Miss Blue will consider this when she decides to wins the very desirable place at her feet. but for now Miss Blue has increased her control over everything and has even issued instructions on how the sluts should piss from now on. its unfortunate but it is her right to control her property in any way she desires, and after all who could blame her after such a disappointment.

Miss Blue also decided to give us a demonstration about just how it is going to feel after she uses the winner of the contest at her next party. as part of his duties at the party the slut will become a cumdump for the men who are present, who will be encouraged to use winners pussy to relieve their tension and deposit their cum deep inside the slut. and since Miss Blue undoubtedly will have many male friends at the party, its going to be a long night indeed. so that we won't be too traumatized by this event, Miss Blue decided to give us a simulation of the experience of loads of cum dripping out of our pussies and saturating our panties. i'm sure it is a feeling that the winning slut will become very familiar with. the training involved applying makeup and then smearing it to inhance the slut-like appearance. then inserting an ice cube into my pussy and pulling up my panties. then i had to walk around the room in high heels, swaying my ass suggestively as the ice cube melted and drenched my panties. very humiating training and clearly Miss Blue was not pleased with our performance so far.

personally i hated the feeling, it felt shameful and i knew my panty was going to be wet and gross looking. i'm hoping that if i win the place at Miss Blue's feet i will be able to show her that i am much better suited to servicing her personal needs rather than he needs of her male friends. but i would be her decision of course.

Lesson 5 - That kind of slut

in lesson 5 Miss Blue gave the opportunity to choose the type of slut that seemed to appeal to me the most. i'm sure this will be useful for her in determining the best ways to control me and turn me into her whore. the possible selections were: The Mean Girl; The Sorority Slut; The Smart Ass; and The Horny Homecoming Queen.

after considering i felt being a sorority slut would be most in keeping with my manner, and in fact i spent some time fantasizing about sorority girls when i was in school. i guess the reason this appeals to me is because sorority girls always seem to be very pretty with perfect makeup the latest clothes-straight from the most "in" fashion brands. and you just knew they wore beautiful panties (blush). they walk around campus ignoring boys who try to catch their eye, and everyone understands that is because they are too stuck up and goddess like to bother with anyone except the most popular jocks. 

but Miss Blue is probably correct in her analysis of what sorority girls are interested in, and that is in being fucked or giving blowjobs to the previously mentioned popular jocks. i know this because jocks are not particularly known for keeping secrets about their conquests or anything else that demonstrates there virility, so you would hear the stories in the locker room or in the bar. so jocks and sorority girls are a perfect match for each other.

but on the plus side i do like makeup and pretty clothes and i certainly would like to look like a goddess! and after all the practice i have had with Miss Blue and Mistress Akasha, i think i could do a passable job at the requirement for giving blowjobs and lying on my back with my legs in the air.

just to complete the lesson i'll mention that the type of slut that least appealed to me was The Smart Ass. just didn't seem like there was anything worth copying there. of course i did just get a brand new pink gag - so i could complete the lesson as as a gagged and fucked smart ass as Miss Blue required - using the latest equipment.

Lesson 4 - Becoming Miss Blue's Whore

"fucked in the ass by Miss Blue"... to most men this undoubtedly sounds like torture or possibly a joke made to another guy in a light moment over a beer or something. for a sissy like myself, these are words that momentarily make me lose my breath and my knees buckle. i see in my mind the image of Miss Blue, wearing her over the thigh boots and low rider strap-on looking at me standing there in my panties and bra. she snaps her fingers and says "now bitch" and i know what to do. and quickly. if i could adequately express the power of that, the fear, the excitement, and the need, i would. unfortunately i am not a talented writer, and anyway Miss Blue did not ask me to write a novel.

due to the nature of this lesson i will not be able to provide a photo unfortunately. but the effects were clear and evident. i have not been fucked for several months now, as i cannot to do such things without the permission of a Mistress. i need that to relieve my guilt and to allow me to experience the pleasure. i accepted Miss Blue's strap-on while lying on my back, my feet in the air and my legs vainly trying to wrap around my imaginary dominatrix.

Miss Blue posed the question "how far would i be willing to go to prove my worth to her". a difficult question to answer because the range of possible actions is so broad. clearly i would have to draw the line at something that would affect other people in a very negative way, cause me to lose my job, cause grief or distress to my family, cause me serious injury, etc. but i could not refuse most commands that involve training me to serve her needs regardless of my personal humiliation. after all i am just a sissy. the pleasure i can give a dominant woman is much more important to me than whether i receive anything in return. the submission and the feminization are what i need. this may be hard for some to understand, sometimes i have to wonder how i got this way too. but i need to be a girl, and i need to be controlled by a Mistress.

Lesson 3 - learning to worship her boots

Boot Worship
as Miss Blue pointed out, i am starting to understand that i only exist for her pleasure. i still haven't fully recovered from the first lesson where Miss Blue drained me of my own desire, so i am still able to concentrate on improving my cock sucking technique without being totally distracted by my own small clittie. and today i knew that sucking cock would not be enough, Miss Blue required that i demonstrate my will to totally obey her without questions or second thoughts. after sucking my dildo today i would need to crawl to her feet and worship her gorgeous and powerful thigh high boots.

i dressed as Miss Blue required wearing panties and nipple clamps and then set out a pair of my own boots, so that i imagine that i would see (if not blindfolded) if i was serving her in person. i began sucking on my dildo as as i stared across the room at the boots, imagining Miss Blue was there humiliating me with her comments about my cock sucking ability and my own small clitie, now pulled down and tucked tightly between my thighs and covered by my tight blue panties. when my mouth was wet i was beginning to drool on the cock i knew it was time. tying a blindfold into place i began to crawl across the room in the general direction of the boots. i know that if Miss Blue had really been in the room i would have been able to quickly locate her because of her warm moist pussy and sensual feminine scent that overpowers me and makes me obey her commands without question. i knew i had reached the boots when my head bumped into them, and i could smell the aroma of the leather and vinyl. assuming a slave position, i began planting kisses and tiny licks on the tip of the boots. i suspect that i real life Miss Blue would have stepped aside moments before i reached her boots, walked behind me with ominously clicking heels, and kicked my pathetic balls and clittie. because she owns them. then, after allowing me to recover slightly she would bring the boots and heels to my mouth so i could worship. i did so with enthusiasm, because in the back of my mind i knew there was another orifice where she could place her high heels if i did not please her. as i finished the lesson i could tell my panties were very damp. and i knew i would be wearing them like that for the rest of the day, remembering.

 

Cock Sucking Technique
i admit that have not sucked my dildo much during the past several months and my cock sucking technique has dropped off from the level i was at following the Blue Moon training in march-april. but i'm certain that once Miss Blue properly adjusts my attitude (and i'm getting there quickly) i will once again be as skilled as the best whores.

in the evening when i first kneel down in front of the cock i get very close and look at it carefully, seeing the little ridges and veins that provide realism and excite my lips and tongue. after a short time my mouth begins to water and i start by planting little kisses all around the head. soon this isn't enough and i start licking the head and those sexy ridges, and press my tongue into the hole at the tip. i imagine that i am tasting the first little drops of precum that will surely be there when Miss Blue requires me to service her and her friends at her next party. imagining the precum on my lips makes me even hotter and i being sliding them up and down the sides, the cock is not in my mouth at this point, i am just feeling with with my lips and coating it with moisture from my lips and tongue. i try to remember to kiss and lick the balls as well as i do this.

after a couple minutes of this i can no longer stand it and i need the cock in my mouth, now! all of it. i slide the cock inside, trapping it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth, and stroke it firmly with pressure from my tongue against the underside. i know this would begin to excite the cock's owner and he or she would begin thinking about how nice it would feel to cum in my mouth. the constant pressure of the tip against the back of my mouth begins to produce the thick, slippery "porn star spit" that is so helpful when i have the need to or am required to deep throat a cock. i spread this spit up and down the cock, and it even runs out my lips making me look like a true whore. and then i imagine that i feel the cock start to cum, and i push my head down onto it until i have the entire length in my mouth and throat. at this point i imagine the orgasm, shooting the cum right into my throat and down into my stomach. then i lick up mess that remains and when the last bit of cum is safely inside of me, i look up into the eyes of the owner and give a little smile that says 'thank you'. (blush!)
 

preparing myself to impress Miss Blue

i know that impressing Miss Blue with my cock sucking abilities is going to be a tough challenge. she is an experienced femdom and will know if i not doing my best. and i know there will be tough competition so i have to find a way to make myself stand out. this isn't going to be easy and i have started to prepare myself.

i began the process last evening after reading the lesson, first taking a bubblebath and then starting to change my body and Miss Blue's property in ways that will be pleasing to her. i am pleased to say that i am now hairless from my neck down to my toes! well almost. i left a little patch of hair above Miss Blue's property - sort of like a 'landing strip'. but its pretty short and not easy to see anyway. i probably should have just removed it and stop clinging to the past.

it really was surprising how sexy i felt when i emerged from a warm fragrant bath and began to towel off my hairless body. the smoothness is so sensual and i couldn't wait to get into some panties and a bra and put on a little lipstick. but i wasn't finished yet! i thought that it would be a nice touch if my toes were painted bright red! i can't really give the nails on my fingers the same treatment for obvious reasons, but i did give them two coats of clear polish. so they are cute too, and it helps to get me in the right frame of mind.

but the real test came later in the evening when i began practicing sucking cock. i must say that when i am hairless, fragrant with a little made up and pretty nails it is much easier to accept that, well, you know... you really probably should be sucking a cock! i mean what else should you be doing looking like this (blush). it's still humiliating, but at least i look the part now. and i have to remember that i promised Miss Blue that i would do my best. and after all, it can't get much harder than this, right????

Lesson 1 - its not about me

in her first lesson, Miss Blue decided to drain her sluts of their uncontrolled desire to always think about their cocks and cumming instead of focusing on what is important as she shapes us into finely tuned obedient whores that will make her proud. She decided that the best way to get this out of our systems was to cum every 2 hours for 24 straight hours. Miss Blue clearly seemed to be aware that this task would break a slut's will, as it probably comes close to being physically impossible unless the guy is truly an orgasmic wonder. most sluts will "peter out" within the first few episodes, and after that even the attempt approaches physical torture.

since i am a sissy and thanks to Mistress Akasha's training am now more like a girl than i am a guy, i knew this test was going to be specially challenging.  i don't think i have cum like a guy in over a year, and for the most part (outside of the occasional accident or unintended night time release) cum only  on special occasions when Mistress Akasha says it is ok. when i do cum, it is into my panties through a combination of caressing my titties, a vibrator or gentle strokes on the tip of my clittie, or sometimes penetration if Mistress Akasha specifies that. 

as a result the thought of cumming so often and for so long was specially worrisome for me. but the thing that made me move forward anyway was the promise that i made to Miss Blue that i would try my best, even if the goal appeared impossible. and of course as She has stated several times, this is about her, not me.

so i did begin the lesson with good intentions, and thanks my vibrator and my very sensitive nipples and clittie (and not having cum in a long time), i did cum in my panties and it felt wonderful! but from there things when downhill in a hurry unfortunately. so i won't go into any more detail about that! being capable of multiple orgasms is another part of being a girl that i have been unable to duplicate.

so in response to Miss Blue's questions (posed in lesson 2), i can answer that i found the lesson very difficult. the only things that kept me from giving up in frustration was my promise to do my best and remembering that this was not about me, it was about what Miss Blue wanted.

this is certainly not the good start that i had hoped for in this training, and seeing as this was only lesson 1, i think it is going to be a very long month. if i survive.

introduction

hi, my name is jamie or "jamiegirl" and i am Miss Blue's slave for the duration of this training - at least if i can last that long. i am a submissive sissy, and have been that way forever. but as all Mistress' know, submissives like myself can at times become self indulgent and be more concerned about themselves and their own feelings than they are about their Mistress' needs and desires. although i really do try to do better, i have certainly been guilty of that myself.

So as Miss Blue says, in this training i will only be concerned about her and her will. i am expecting that it will be difficult for me as Miss Blue is very demanding. but i have promised her that i will do my best and i will.

 i am looking forward to serving Miss Blue and hopefully pleasing her. even though she is very demanding she is also a joy to chat with and when she is not torturing me she is so funny that she makes me laugh endlessly. (plus i love her shoe closet and panty drawer!). and she loves to run. what is not to love... right?

those who know me are aware that i belong to Mistress Akasha who finally removed my male ego and turned me into the girl that i have always longed to be. she is a goddess and i've belonged to her for more years than even she knows. Mistress Akasha is aware i am training with Miss Blue, and thinks that i will benefit from it. 

so that is the long lead in to this blog and i assure you that you will not have to read anything quite so boring again.